COLLEGE PARK, MD –
A lot of people want what they want.Most also want happiness.
The problem with that is, generally, the two cannot coexist. We can be happy or we can have what we want. Only if we conform our wants with reality can we have both.
This concept is important to note when looking at how we fit into families, societies, and their related structures.What most societal structures are is an organization of individuals that make decisions together. Leaders decide on the decisions, followers enact them – both are playing a pivotal role in the decision-making process.
In my estimation, most of these structures are built on an unsound foundation. The decisions these groups make are very often based on what the leaders of the group want. That’s a problem.
Whether it is what anyone wants or not, the decisions should be made based on reality – what is, not how we wish it was.
If you’re with me on this hypothesis, you will probably be rejected by unsound societal structures. The leaders of these structures want us to act according to their desires and will be angry if and when we don’t.
Congratulations on the rejection.
This is a difficult rejection, but a beneficial one. When our decisions stop being based upon our own desires, we can see reality more clearly and make better decisions.
That will, in turn, make it harder for us to capitulate to the desires of others, again allowing us to see reality more clearly and make even better decisions. The more clarity on reality, the better our decisions will become.
The better decisions we make, the happier we’ll be. Unsound decision-making based on our own desires or on the desires of a collective unit we belong to is a huge root of unhappiness.
Perhaps the miserable nexus of the two is our desire to fit into a collective unit. Then our decisions are being made upon compounded desires.
Putting a stop to the unsound decision-making process is something we can all work towards to live happier lives.
In the short term, this can lead to a feeling of loss – loss of belonging, leadership, friends, family, tribe, community etc. In the long term, it should lead to more clarity, happiness, and stronger relationships based upon reality.
The time in between is an authentic life.
P.S. Gwyneth Paltrow shared a nice piece by Dr. Habib Sadeghi related to this subject here.